The vision.
every person I know has a goal in their life. Something they want to do or accomplish that will set them apart. Maybe that goal is just a dream of traveling the world, or raising a family...
My Dream for as long as I can remember has been to adopt children into my home. To provide a child who would otherwise maybe live a life without support and love a chance in this world. I have always wanted to love more children than I knew God would give me to bare myself.
That is a bit of a daunting idea to think that my family could become so large, but I am grateful. My heart swells with the Dream that I have to give a child a second chance.
When I was taking my psychology classes we talked a lot about a family. We talked about the rising trends of single parent homes and homosexuality. It was interesting to hear from a professor, that no matter the trend, the research showed that children grew up to be more well adjusted children in homes with a mother and a father to rear them and care for them. Of course there are those who grew up outside of that average, with an abusive parent etc. But my journey to decide to adopt in my future had nothing to do with what my teachers called the "facts" of the present. I began my journey years before.
Growing up, my siblings and I would always talk about how many children we wanted to have. I have 7 siblings, so you have to understand, it was always around four or five or above, none of us wanted less. I remember when I learned about different complications women can have that can stop them from having children. I don't think it was because of someone I knew, but truly because of stories in the scriptures. I loved the scriptures and the example the righteous that were within it's pages. I looked up to the righteous women, and wondered if that would be my burden to bare as well.
I decided early on that no matter what I was physically capable of, I wanted to adopt. I knew from watching my parents, that I needed to marry a man who was capable of that same love for a child that was not his seed. I prayed in my heart for years to find a man like that.
Heavenly Father brought that man into my life. It's funny the things that matter most to you, and adopting has always been something at the top of my list. When I was dating my husband it was interesting, because he mentioned his desire to adopt long before I told him of mine. I am so blessed.
The Vision, is the realization that I can dream again. Not only can I dream again, but I know that I can realize those dreams... I couldn't be more grateful for that gift again in my life.
I am so grateful for my Savior, my husband, my son, and my work. All of this is what helps me to feel the love of my Heavenly Father. If I must work, I want it to be a work of changing lives, and amazingly, I get to do just that.
Life is wonderful, and I am so grateful for the vision to see what life has in store for me.
I saw this quote the other day, and I am so grateful for whomever posted it so that it could bless my life as well. "Without giving something everything you got you can't say you tried and failed. All you can say is that you failed to try."
I will do more than try!
Sara Spencer
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Eating Clean
Eating Clean: What exactly does this mean?
I am not a great writer, or a politician, so all I can do is explain what this means to me and hope I make some semblance of sense.
Eating clean is the idea that we only put into our body what out body can use for energy. To oppose this idea are toxins, and the definition of a toxin for our purposes in this blog will be; anything that our body cannot recognize and use as energy.
So here is what I think eating clean is:
Eating food in it's most alive state, that is RAW. Our bodies are Alive and because we are a living organism, we require other alive things to maintain homeostasis. Some of these things our body synthesizes by itself and others we must ingest. The whole idea behind eating raw is that Raw fruits and vegetables, herbs, nuts etc are in their most alive state. As we cook our food, we are actually killing it. Just like we use heat to kill bacteria, the bummer part is we kill a lot more than that, including things we want!
I say this pretty often, and anybody who knows me closely have probably heard it straight from my lips, but, we can only function off of what we not only put in our bodies, but what we put on them, and if we are not giving our bodies the best, how can we perform our best? Some people think this doesn't matter, some people say they don't want to follow a mega trend for Organic and whole foods, but what they don't realize is that they are living inside of the biggest trend of all. That trend is processed food, a huge rise in disease, and severe malnutrition and obesity.
Processed food is a thing of the last couple hundred years. The industrial revolution changed the way everyone lived their lives, suddenly the fast foods were born, and no, on the inside aisles is where the majority of people spend their time at the store, the sad things is, the outside aisles where people find the raw fruits and veggies, and raw meats etc, isn't much if any better because of industrialized farming methods; radiation, pesticides, insecticides, and Genetically Modified Foods.
I could never explain to you ever particular eating clean might entail, and for one, I would definitely be wrong with some of it, but eating clean for at LEAST 30 days and up to 90 days, eliminating Soy, Gluten, Corn, Peanuts, and processed foods like anything with, artificial coloring, artificial flavoring, sweeteners, scents, Corn Syrup, High Fructose Corn Syrup, sugar in general, MSG, vinegar, High glycemic foods.
This would be a great place for people to begin to learn how to listen to their bodies. So many times we think we are hungry, when really we are dehydrated. ever find yourself after a full meal wandering to the kitchen and nothing looks good. That is your body asking for MOISTURE! Drink some water! It is so amazing when we finally learn to recognize what our body is telling us, and know when we are hungry, when we eat something we're allergic to, and what things are body had trouble digesting.
Did you know that cancer cannot grow in an alkaline environment?
Did you know that arthritis is inflammation due to acidity and oxidative stress?
Cleansing just got a whole lot more important right??
So, I may post a picture here and there of my journeys through learning how to cook for my family without Dairy, Gluten, Soy, Sugar and Corn.
Can I just say, as soon as I stopped eating as much gluten, and switched my produce to organic, i lost 12 lbs in two weeks??
Since then I have eliminated everything I mentioned earlier and started juicing and making green smoothies every morning.
Is there any more I can say besides that I am SOLD on this!
I feel better, sleep better, my joints don't ache anymore, I don't have any acid reflux, and my arrhythmia went away COMPLETELY and Only comes back when I eat Splenda(sucralose) or MSG. Kind of odd huh?
So I say again, our bodies can only function off of what we give them as fuel. If we are not giving them the best, how can we perform our best?
Make this years new years resolution really count by Taking back your health! Do not lose weight to be healthy, be healthy to lose weight!
I am not a great writer, or a politician, so all I can do is explain what this means to me and hope I make some semblance of sense.
Eating clean is the idea that we only put into our body what out body can use for energy. To oppose this idea are toxins, and the definition of a toxin for our purposes in this blog will be; anything that our body cannot recognize and use as energy.
So here is what I think eating clean is:
Eating food in it's most alive state, that is RAW. Our bodies are Alive and because we are a living organism, we require other alive things to maintain homeostasis. Some of these things our body synthesizes by itself and others we must ingest. The whole idea behind eating raw is that Raw fruits and vegetables, herbs, nuts etc are in their most alive state. As we cook our food, we are actually killing it. Just like we use heat to kill bacteria, the bummer part is we kill a lot more than that, including things we want!
I say this pretty often, and anybody who knows me closely have probably heard it straight from my lips, but, we can only function off of what we not only put in our bodies, but what we put on them, and if we are not giving our bodies the best, how can we perform our best? Some people think this doesn't matter, some people say they don't want to follow a mega trend for Organic and whole foods, but what they don't realize is that they are living inside of the biggest trend of all. That trend is processed food, a huge rise in disease, and severe malnutrition and obesity.
Processed food is a thing of the last couple hundred years. The industrial revolution changed the way everyone lived their lives, suddenly the fast foods were born, and no, on the inside aisles is where the majority of people spend their time at the store, the sad things is, the outside aisles where people find the raw fruits and veggies, and raw meats etc, isn't much if any better because of industrialized farming methods; radiation, pesticides, insecticides, and Genetically Modified Foods.
I could never explain to you ever particular eating clean might entail, and for one, I would definitely be wrong with some of it, but eating clean for at LEAST 30 days and up to 90 days, eliminating Soy, Gluten, Corn, Peanuts, and processed foods like anything with, artificial coloring, artificial flavoring, sweeteners, scents, Corn Syrup, High Fructose Corn Syrup, sugar in general, MSG, vinegar, High glycemic foods.
This would be a great place for people to begin to learn how to listen to their bodies. So many times we think we are hungry, when really we are dehydrated. ever find yourself after a full meal wandering to the kitchen and nothing looks good. That is your body asking for MOISTURE! Drink some water! It is so amazing when we finally learn to recognize what our body is telling us, and know when we are hungry, when we eat something we're allergic to, and what things are body had trouble digesting.
Did you know that cancer cannot grow in an alkaline environment?
Did you know that arthritis is inflammation due to acidity and oxidative stress?
Cleansing just got a whole lot more important right??
So, I may post a picture here and there of my journeys through learning how to cook for my family without Dairy, Gluten, Soy, Sugar and Corn.
Can I just say, as soon as I stopped eating as much gluten, and switched my produce to organic, i lost 12 lbs in two weeks??
Since then I have eliminated everything I mentioned earlier and started juicing and making green smoothies every morning.
Is there any more I can say besides that I am SOLD on this!
I feel better, sleep better, my joints don't ache anymore, I don't have any acid reflux, and my arrhythmia went away COMPLETELY and Only comes back when I eat Splenda(sucralose) or MSG. Kind of odd huh?
So I say again, our bodies can only function off of what we give them as fuel. If we are not giving them the best, how can we perform our best?
Make this years new years resolution really count by Taking back your health! Do not lose weight to be healthy, be healthy to lose weight!
Monday, November 21, 2011
Labor of Love
I had it all recorded in a journal that I cannot find, So I hope I can remember the details!
Saturday morning I woke up to having lost my mucus plug, nothing happend though and I had my first "last meal" before what I hoped to be labor sooon. Jeff gave me a blessing around 2 pm. and at 2:30 I began having very gentle contractions just like many times previously. Around 5, Jeff and I jumped in the car and went shooting with my mom and Hal and the kids. Nathan had definitely moved a lot lower but other than having the contractions, nothing too exciting was happening! After coming home I had my second, "Last meal" and Jeff and I went for a walk. Not a mile down the road the contractions became much harder and I had to pause in my stride for each one. The contractions were only about 4 minutes apart and by the last mile stretch I was hanging on Jeff through each one. I didn't even want to stand, they were that much more difficult.We got home and my contractions were about 2 minutes apart and I spent a few hours rocking my hips and siting on the birth ball with my mom and Kenzie timing. They stayed strong but started spacing out. We went to bed and I spent the night waking up every 7 minutes for a contraction. I didn't sleep very well to say the least, but at least I slept!
Sunday morning the contractions were still pretty easy to get through and I walked around and helped make breakfast, pausing for each surge. By now I was on my fourth *last meal* (I thought I was only supposed to get one!). I kept waiting for all the signposts of progression and none were coming, I still felt good yet it had been hours! Sunday afternoon things got more difficult again and my contractions were about 2 minutes apart. I got in the tub many times trying to relax.
I had been having painful contractions since around 7 the night before! The contractions did start getting worse here and I was really having trouble getting through each one. I kept forgetting to breathe deep into my abdomen, I started shaking during the contractions but was able to relax between still.. I will be honest though, I was freaking out inside. I had been in labor over 24 hours and I wasn't progressing well. I spent a lot of Sunday evening and night crying. Jeff probably gave me a blessing every few hours... I was afraid for Nathan, and for mad at myself. I just kept thinking that maybe I wasn't capable of doing this. Everyone kept telling me to relax and I had been trying to hard to think positive and relax and it hadn't helped! By now I was just afraid and mad. In every blessing I had been told I would have Nathan "soon", i'll admit I was really started to get upset when people said that word. Soon wasn't "soon" enough I started to say to myself. It's okay, you can say it, I was pretty faithless about then and just mad and crying. I couldn't even relax in between contractions anymore and I was shaking constantly.
My mom and Jeff talked and came in to me and told me that if things didn't change by 10 that they were going to take me to the hospital anyway even though I hadn't progressed any. Jeff gave me a blessing and we were told to stay, so we did. I still couldn't relax very well and it was late, so we tried to go to sleep. Jeff fell asleep almost immediately, and I could not so I went and filled the tub again and climbed in. It wasn't helping at all anymore and I just cried... Jeff slept on the floor next to me and I was done. I seriously thought I would either have this baby or die because I couldn't handle even one more contraction... and yet I still wasn't progressing, none of the sign posts were there. I decided if something didn't change soon, I was going to go to the hospital and get pain killer because I couldn't do it anymore.... Jeff went to bed and when I came in I told him I couldn't handle it anymore. He promised me that if I still wasn't progressing by 5 he would take me in. I fell silent, I couldn't even imagine waiting 5 more hours. I don't even remember the next few hours.. Most of it was full of tears. Kenzie popped her head in around 4 and asked how I was doing. I told her to go get my mom and I told her that I coudln't take it anymore and I wanted to go to the hospital NOW. They are jumped to work and by 5 am we were in the car on our way to Mountain View Hospital. We arrived at 6 am and it took about an hour to check in.
After I was checked in I was only dilated to a 5! All those hours of tears and contractions and I was only a 5! Goodness!! Luckily I wasn't too attached to that number. My midwife, Susan Binegar was wonderful. She came in, reminded me my goals and never once offered me drugs. I love her <3. I seriously just needed someone to believe in me and stop looking at me like they were so scared! I got into the tub and relaxed, jeff stayed by my side and provided counter pressure with almost every contraction! I was relaxed and was pretty much asleep. The water was so warm and with Jeff there and people that believed in me, I could finally rest. Susan and my wonderful nurse Jeanette would come in every so often and check on me and Nathan. I think I broke a doppler when she tried to get his HR with me in the tub! 3 hours later I climbed out and they checked me again, I was an 8!
The crazy things, is every time she checked me she said that my water bag was bulging a ton and that she was really surprised it hadn't broken! She explained to me that the reason my contractions were so painful was probably because of the pressure from the water bag and that if she broke it, I might feel a lot better, and since I was dilated so much, it could really just end this much much sooner.
I was terrified at this prospect. Susan told me that things would get much more difficult and that I would feel like I was going to die but that I would get through it, every woman can and does. I knew this already, but I was terrified. I had already reached that point and if my contractions were going to get worse, I didn't think I could handle it. My mom and Kenzie came back and I was back in the tub, hoping it would help me more like it had. It was nice, but I was having trouble coping with the pain again. Around this time is where I adopted the Mantra "Just this one." I realized that as I said that to myself the contraction would go from excruciating to easy in just that one thought along with realizing I was breathing wrong and correcting it.
My mom came in to talk to me and told me that Susan really thought I should let her break my water and that she thought it was a good idea. I was exhausted and I needed to get this over with and doing that might help. I was wondering what Jeff though when he walked in to the room with the instrument they would break my water with saying "Look Sara, this is what they're going to break your water with!" So there was my answer, I was out-voted. I climbed out of the water and after 10 minutes of tears finally nodded the approval and they broke my water.
Sweet Relief! I did indeed feel much better and the contractions were MUCH easier to get through after that! I was mad at myself for waiting so long darn it!!! Anyways, besides feeling relief, I immediately felt different. I felt my body gearing up for pushing and knew I was transitioning. At one point I remember saying out loud that "I can't do this" and everyone telling me, "But you can, you're doing this right now Sara!" and Susan in the background saying "Alright, that means we're almost ready, someone go tell the nurse we're going to have a baby soon!" That made me laugh. I knew the sign posts as well, and I had been thinking that very same thing!! Again, relief, I knew this would be over soon. After about 30 minutes I began feeling little urges to push with the contraction and I felt Nathan moving down. That was the weirdest feeling and a bit scary! I was really doing this!
My contractions were never right on top of each other, and I don't think during this stage they were ever closer than 5 minutes apart even while I pushed. I pushed for about 2 hours with about 5 minutes breaks in between contractions. I needed every second I got, I was completely exhausted. My family told me after that I just looked like I was barely pushing although I was giving it everything I had. I pushed for probably almost an hour before they even said they could see his head. Everyone kept shouting that he was almost here, just one more big push. They let me reach down and feel his head and I was mad! There was only about a quarter size area of skin I could feel! They had gotten my hopes up! A laboring woman doesn't enjoy being lied to haha. That kind of saddaned me, but I knew I had to keep working. The most painful part for me was pushing out his head. I could feel his little nose and everything and it wasn't smooth and hurt! The "ring of fire" the readings and my class talked about was VERY real for me, and hurt so much! They kept telling me to push through it so I tried, and I think that's why I tore. In everything I had read, you are supposed to pause here and let your perineum stretch, that's why you feel that "ring of fire." Anyways, his head was out and they told me to pause so Jeff could get in to position to catch Nathan. He did and I pushed again, he was stuck a little and Susan just put her hand on him and he popped right out! He was here! My beautiful baby was finally here. To use my exact words, "I can't believe I just did that!" Nathan had a short umbilical cord, something my mom says she always had with us kids, so he couldn't quite reach my chest. They were fussing over him since he hadn't come out wailing. I knew he was fine, I could feel it. They kept telling Jeff to Make him MAD! Finally I reached up and began stroking up on his spine with my fingers like we were told in class and he arched his back and let out his first cry I was aware of! They waited a few minutes and Jeff got to decide when to cut my cord.
The ONLY bad things I remember were that everyone was so crowded around me while I was trying to soak in my wonderful new baby boys face and every tiny little detail, and also this,
When I was waiting to start feeling the contractions to birth the placenta Susan pulled on my cord and it HURT! She was pretty impatient about it and just wanted it out, She was worried I would hemorrhage, but honestly, Pulling on my cord could cause that! SO I thought it was kind of dumb and lo and behold I did hemmorhage. For some reason they were so worried about it taking a few minutes to come out because of my long labor, but pulling my cord was kind of silly. SO maybe if you don't have a 48 hour labor, they won't happen to you because they won't be so worried and pull on your cord! But I was really grateful that they didn't do a transfusion even though I lost over a liter and a half of blood. which is almost twice an average c-section. Pretty crazy!
One of the many other amazingly wonderful things she did though is perineal message, which is to help me stretch so tearing is less likely and they won't have to do an epesiotomy(which to me is kind of a sign of an impatient doc, or someone who isn't willing to do the warm rags and perineal message!)
So as far as support and the birth she was awesome, the only thing was the cord, and I can't ever know if that is what caused my hemmorhage or if it was just my long labor!
They put me on IV's and they had jeff try to help me to the bathroom and I passed out and threw up all over a few people. Good times, I am just grateful I don't remember it, I only remember waking up to the horrible smelling stuff they try to bring you back with. I stayed in bed after that. They didn't trust me anymore :-P
So that's my story!! Sorry it took so long to post, I spent a few months homeless so bear with me!
Saturday morning I woke up to having lost my mucus plug, nothing happend though and I had my first "last meal" before what I hoped to be labor sooon. Jeff gave me a blessing around 2 pm. and at 2:30 I began having very gentle contractions just like many times previously. Around 5, Jeff and I jumped in the car and went shooting with my mom and Hal and the kids. Nathan had definitely moved a lot lower but other than having the contractions, nothing too exciting was happening! After coming home I had my second, "Last meal" and Jeff and I went for a walk. Not a mile down the road the contractions became much harder and I had to pause in my stride for each one. The contractions were only about 4 minutes apart and by the last mile stretch I was hanging on Jeff through each one. I didn't even want to stand, they were that much more difficult.We got home and my contractions were about 2 minutes apart and I spent a few hours rocking my hips and siting on the birth ball with my mom and Kenzie timing. They stayed strong but started spacing out. We went to bed and I spent the night waking up every 7 minutes for a contraction. I didn't sleep very well to say the least, but at least I slept!
Sunday morning the contractions were still pretty easy to get through and I walked around and helped make breakfast, pausing for each surge. By now I was on my fourth *last meal* (I thought I was only supposed to get one!). I kept waiting for all the signposts of progression and none were coming, I still felt good yet it had been hours! Sunday afternoon things got more difficult again and my contractions were about 2 minutes apart. I got in the tub many times trying to relax.
I had been having painful contractions since around 7 the night before! The contractions did start getting worse here and I was really having trouble getting through each one. I kept forgetting to breathe deep into my abdomen, I started shaking during the contractions but was able to relax between still.. I will be honest though, I was freaking out inside. I had been in labor over 24 hours and I wasn't progressing well. I spent a lot of Sunday evening and night crying. Jeff probably gave me a blessing every few hours... I was afraid for Nathan, and for mad at myself. I just kept thinking that maybe I wasn't capable of doing this. Everyone kept telling me to relax and I had been trying to hard to think positive and relax and it hadn't helped! By now I was just afraid and mad. In every blessing I had been told I would have Nathan "soon", i'll admit I was really started to get upset when people said that word. Soon wasn't "soon" enough I started to say to myself. It's okay, you can say it, I was pretty faithless about then and just mad and crying. I couldn't even relax in between contractions anymore and I was shaking constantly.
After I was checked in I was only dilated to a 5! All those hours of tears and contractions and I was only a 5! Goodness!! Luckily I wasn't too attached to that number. My midwife, Susan Binegar was wonderful. She came in, reminded me my goals and never once offered me drugs. I love her <3. I seriously just needed someone to believe in me and stop looking at me like they were so scared! I got into the tub and relaxed, jeff stayed by my side and provided counter pressure with almost every contraction! I was relaxed and was pretty much asleep. The water was so warm and with Jeff there and people that believed in me, I could finally rest. Susan and my wonderful nurse Jeanette would come in every so often and check on me and Nathan. I think I broke a doppler when she tried to get his HR with me in the tub! 3 hours later I climbed out and they checked me again, I was an 8!
The crazy things, is every time she checked me she said that my water bag was bulging a ton and that she was really surprised it hadn't broken! She explained to me that the reason my contractions were so painful was probably because of the pressure from the water bag and that if she broke it, I might feel a lot better, and since I was dilated so much, it could really just end this much much sooner.
I was terrified at this prospect. Susan told me that things would get much more difficult and that I would feel like I was going to die but that I would get through it, every woman can and does. I knew this already, but I was terrified. I had already reached that point and if my contractions were going to get worse, I didn't think I could handle it. My mom and Kenzie came back and I was back in the tub, hoping it would help me more like it had. It was nice, but I was having trouble coping with the pain again. Around this time is where I adopted the Mantra "Just this one." I realized that as I said that to myself the contraction would go from excruciating to easy in just that one thought along with realizing I was breathing wrong and correcting it.
My mom came in to talk to me and told me that Susan really thought I should let her break my water and that she thought it was a good idea. I was exhausted and I needed to get this over with and doing that might help. I was wondering what Jeff though when he walked in to the room with the instrument they would break my water with saying "Look Sara, this is what they're going to break your water with!" So there was my answer, I was out-voted. I climbed out of the water and after 10 minutes of tears finally nodded the approval and they broke my water.
Sweet Relief! I did indeed feel much better and the contractions were MUCH easier to get through after that! I was mad at myself for waiting so long darn it!!! Anyways, besides feeling relief, I immediately felt different. I felt my body gearing up for pushing and knew I was transitioning. At one point I remember saying out loud that "I can't do this" and everyone telling me, "But you can, you're doing this right now Sara!" and Susan in the background saying "Alright, that means we're almost ready, someone go tell the nurse we're going to have a baby soon!" That made me laugh. I knew the sign posts as well, and I had been thinking that very same thing!! Again, relief, I knew this would be over soon. After about 30 minutes I began feeling little urges to push with the contraction and I felt Nathan moving down. That was the weirdest feeling and a bit scary! I was really doing this!
My contractions were never right on top of each other, and I don't think during this stage they were ever closer than 5 minutes apart even while I pushed. I pushed for about 2 hours with about 5 minutes breaks in between contractions. I needed every second I got, I was completely exhausted. My family told me after that I just looked like I was barely pushing although I was giving it everything I had. I pushed for probably almost an hour before they even said they could see his head. Everyone kept shouting that he was almost here, just one more big push. They let me reach down and feel his head and I was mad! There was only about a quarter size area of skin I could feel! They had gotten my hopes up! A laboring woman doesn't enjoy being lied to haha. That kind of saddaned me, but I knew I had to keep working. The most painful part for me was pushing out his head. I could feel his little nose and everything and it wasn't smooth and hurt! The "ring of fire" the readings and my class talked about was VERY real for me, and hurt so much! They kept telling me to push through it so I tried, and I think that's why I tore. In everything I had read, you are supposed to pause here and let your perineum stretch, that's why you feel that "ring of fire." Anyways, his head was out and they told me to pause so Jeff could get in to position to catch Nathan. He did and I pushed again, he was stuck a little and Susan just put her hand on him and he popped right out! He was here! My beautiful baby was finally here. To use my exact words, "I can't believe I just did that!" Nathan had a short umbilical cord, something my mom says she always had with us kids, so he couldn't quite reach my chest. They were fussing over him since he hadn't come out wailing. I knew he was fine, I could feel it. They kept telling Jeff to Make him MAD! Finally I reached up and began stroking up on his spine with my fingers like we were told in class and he arched his back and let out his first cry I was aware of! They waited a few minutes and Jeff got to decide when to cut my cord.
The ONLY bad things I remember were that everyone was so crowded around me while I was trying to soak in my wonderful new baby boys face and every tiny little detail, and also this,
When I was waiting to start feeling the contractions to birth the placenta Susan pulled on my cord and it HURT! She was pretty impatient about it and just wanted it out, She was worried I would hemorrhage, but honestly, Pulling on my cord could cause that! SO I thought it was kind of dumb and lo and behold I did hemmorhage. For some reason they were so worried about it taking a few minutes to come out because of my long labor, but pulling my cord was kind of silly. SO maybe if you don't have a 48 hour labor, they won't happen to you because they won't be so worried and pull on your cord! But I was really grateful that they didn't do a transfusion even though I lost over a liter and a half of blood. which is almost twice an average c-section. Pretty crazy!
One of the many other amazingly wonderful things she did though is perineal message, which is to help me stretch so tearing is less likely and they won't have to do an epesiotomy(which to me is kind of a sign of an impatient doc, or someone who isn't willing to do the warm rags and perineal message!)
So as far as support and the birth she was awesome, the only thing was the cord, and I can't ever know if that is what caused my hemmorhage or if it was just my long labor!
They put me on IV's and they had jeff try to help me to the bathroom and I passed out and threw up all over a few people. Good times, I am just grateful I don't remember it, I only remember waking up to the horrible smelling stuff they try to bring you back with. I stayed in bed after that. They didn't trust me anymore :-P
So that's my story!! Sorry it took so long to post, I spent a few months homeless so bear with me!
Charity
Sometimes I feel like as ward memebers we feel obligated to serve members of the ward, or do something nice for someone we visit teach... but we forget to do nice things just because we're Christain, or just because they're our friend.
I in some ways felt this way after having Nathan.... I had spent almost 3 years in a ward and I thought I had many Friends in that ward, yet the day I had my son, after spending a week homeless and looking forward to being homeless again, I was asked by my previous Relief Society Presidency if where I was moving was still in the ward boundaries.. It stung, I will admit, I was saddened by even the idea that the only reason my friends were willing to help me before was because of my location. The Relief Society President has always been a sweetheart and continued to be, calling me, driving out to see me, and bringing me things I needed, but where were all the people I had come to call me friends?? I was saddened and felt alone. After a couple meals from my sister in law and a meal from the wonderful Relief Society President from my old ward, my husband and I ate nothing, or toast and jam for over a month. I would rather not think about how much weight my husband lost, and for myself, I had just hemmorhaged and could barely carry my son, and couldn't at all in his car seat, and yet there we were, trying to make it work and living off of nothing.
The ward boundaries we now *kind of* lived in knew about us from the very beginning, but we finally got a visit after about a month. After that first initial visit from the RS Presidency, many families came over and visited us and brought garden produce and other things. What a blessing, and finally we weren't just eating ramen noodles, macaroni and toast! My poor husband, I don't know how he managed living that way for so long!
So I guess my point is, Love people, they are God's children, and don't forget to love them just because of that reason alone! We all have a responsibility to care for one another as children of God, not just because they are our neighbor and we have to see them every day and be ashamed if we don't! You never know what someone is going through, and it's times like these that remind us of that! I just hope that I can be a better Christain because of what I have gone through. Remember that we are all Chidren, Sons and Daughters of God and what a great time to practice this with this next week being Thanksgiving and Christmas so soon as well!! Make it your new years resolution and start now! I know I am trying, and will continue to do my best with the resources that I have.
Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas! Good luck and remember to LOVE!
I in some ways felt this way after having Nathan.... I had spent almost 3 years in a ward and I thought I had many Friends in that ward, yet the day I had my son, after spending a week homeless and looking forward to being homeless again, I was asked by my previous Relief Society Presidency if where I was moving was still in the ward boundaries.. It stung, I will admit, I was saddened by even the idea that the only reason my friends were willing to help me before was because of my location. The Relief Society President has always been a sweetheart and continued to be, calling me, driving out to see me, and bringing me things I needed, but where were all the people I had come to call me friends?? I was saddened and felt alone. After a couple meals from my sister in law and a meal from the wonderful Relief Society President from my old ward, my husband and I ate nothing, or toast and jam for over a month. I would rather not think about how much weight my husband lost, and for myself, I had just hemmorhaged and could barely carry my son, and couldn't at all in his car seat, and yet there we were, trying to make it work and living off of nothing.
The ward boundaries we now *kind of* lived in knew about us from the very beginning, but we finally got a visit after about a month. After that first initial visit from the RS Presidency, many families came over and visited us and brought garden produce and other things. What a blessing, and finally we weren't just eating ramen noodles, macaroni and toast! My poor husband, I don't know how he managed living that way for so long!
So I guess my point is, Love people, they are God's children, and don't forget to love them just because of that reason alone! We all have a responsibility to care for one another as children of God, not just because they are our neighbor and we have to see them every day and be ashamed if we don't! You never know what someone is going through, and it's times like these that remind us of that! I just hope that I can be a better Christain because of what I have gone through. Remember that we are all Chidren, Sons and Daughters of God and what a great time to practice this with this next week being Thanksgiving and Christmas so soon as well!! Make it your new years resolution and start now! I know I am trying, and will continue to do my best with the resources that I have.
Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas! Good luck and remember to LOVE!
Friday, November 4, 2011
Decisions:
So eventually I will get my birth story up, but right now I just wanted to talk about decisions. I am the type of person that believes that everything in life happens to teach you something, and with the things you learn, it all comes to a big moment that will change your life.
About a year ago my husband and I decided we needed to find some type of employment that could work with our busy school schedules. While I was at work one day a guy came in talking about Prepaid Legal. Being polite, I took his DVD and watched it. My husband and I went to a PPL meeting and signed up. We did nothing with it. Jeff wanted me to do it, and I didn't want to do it alone.... So nothing happened. From this I learned that I have to not only believe in the product, but have passion for it as well.
I have been using Arbonne Internationals skin care products for years now. After years previous to that I had tried may different lotions and things to help my severely dry skin. I finally realized if I was going to get the results I wanted, I had to use a pricier lotion. I tried a few different ones, and some that even gave me rashes with their 30$ price tags. That's when I found Arbonne, a friend of mine started selling it as an independent consultant and I went to a party she was hosting. I fell in love. Finally, I found a lotion that continued worked for longer than a week. Four years later, I am still using it, and my belief in it is revitalized all the time. I have a fun story about being pregnant and using Arbonne, but that just may be for a different post. :-P
Well the amazing woman that I go through to buy my Arbonne products kept telling me that I would be great at selling Arbonne. I just shrugged it off, figuring there was no way that I could be successful "selling lipstick." She kept bugging me about it for a few years, and when I say bugging, she really just kept telling me how much she would love me on her team but that she understood that now maybe wasn't the right time for me. She would send me training calls, and all this material about Arbonne and I kept trying more product. I really love everything I have tried, their products really are amazing.
So here is where I get in to the honest truth. I was afraid to sell Arbonne because I really liked it and I didn't want to fail at something i believed so much in. So, for about a year i kept pushing her aside.
In my fear, I decided to try something I thought would be easier for some reason, probably because it's so big around here, and I knew my trainer would be in town (Julie lives in AZ). So one night my friend signed me up for Maleleuca. Its a company that's big thing is that they are kid-safe and eco-friendly and healthier alternatives to store brands. Well their skin care didn't work for me, but I liked their detergent and cleaning products, so I said I would try. For a few months (actually until really recently) I fought inside myself because I honestly knew I didn't like their skin care line. I had looked on a cosmetic safety website and they had scored higher (higher is bad/dangerous) than Johnson and Johnson, and anyone who is even the slightest bit hippie, knows their products have a lot of dangerous chemicals and irritants. For example, instead of taking out the harmful chemicals that burned babies eyes, they put a numbing chemical into the shampoo and body wash so that they wouldn't feel the chemicals burning their eyes instead. Anyways, pretty crazy huh? Well Maleleuca scored worse than THAT money hungry/poor quality product. So, being glad I wasn't a naive consumer, I really didn't like their skin care line and didn't know what to do. How do I sell just cleaning supplies from a company that does more? I really felt like I have a responsibility for these people, and if they used the skin care products I would have felt like scum. SO, I didn't do Maleleuca, and my husband kept bugging me about it, and I just kept telling him I couldn't sell products I don't like for a company I don't respect. SO I learned that I had to do something that I will always believe in and trust as well as have passion for!
SO here we come to the last few months at my house. I was 8/9 months pregnant and my husband and I start looking for a house. Good thing too, because our landlord announces his engagement and lets us know he wants us out by October (this was June/Julyish). So thinking we had a few months, we looked at houses bid on a few and finally found one we really liked, so we moved forward. I was planning a home-birth and my landlord knew this. The first week in August when we were talking one day, he mentions he will need to move forward the date to the end of the month around the 25th of August instead of October. I was due August 9th. August 11th I ran into him and he tells me he is leaving TOMORROW to get his fiance's things and they would be back Monday the 15th. I am not a naive girl, it's his soon to be wife, she and he will want her to move in to the HOUSE, not just the back bedroom until we can get our things out. So overdue, I spend all weekend packing, Monday we wake up early and take 5 trips to a storage unit at my husbands work. Our truck breaks down after hauling the trailer. We come home after the last load for the day to hey, they are here! Not even completely packed up, they start moving boxes in. Jeff and I decide to go stay at my moms for the night, because it is too crazy around the house so we grab some things and leave. This is where we really begin to realize that we will not get our home birth.
Wednesday we come back to a decorated house and our things in a room in the basement. Classy. So we spend the day moving out, and get the things we need to go to my moms for the week in hopes to have the baby. That week I proceeded to try everything to have the baby, Castor oil, black/blue cohosh, walks, sex, you name it, we tried it. No baby, so finally Saturday I go into labor, Sunday I continue to have contractions and they get more and more painful. By Sunday night I was in so much pain, Monday morning we arrive at the hospital and after 48.5 hrs of labor, Nathan has made us a family. I hemmorhaged really badly and was in the hospital for a few days with Nathan. Jeff in the mean time has started school that Monday that I gave birth and was going to classes and working while trying to find somewhere for us to stay while we tried to finish paperwork for the house. His boss lets us stay in a 5th-wheel out back of his work. (jeff worked at a OK Trailers, a camper trailer dealer as a technician). So we check out of the hospital and I hang out at a friends while family comes and cleans and readies the trailer for a newborn baby.
Nathan is 3 days old, and we move in to a 5th wheel. I am on vitamins and things and can't do almost anything for myself as I was still very weak. I saw Jeff when he left for class at 7 am and he came home at 10:30 pm from classes. So we were living the life! Well ahng-ups in the paperwork and a month later we still hadn't closed on the house. I gave jeff 1 week to get me out of the 5th wheel. we were freezing out butts off! and then they tell us in 2 weeks we should be closed, so we decide to stick it out.
That next Monday, OK Trailers burns to the ground and Jeff's work guarantees him a job still. We have to move out of the trailer.
We spend a week in the basement of a ward members we met that day.
By the end of the week they lay Jeff off and we lose the house. I still can't carry Nathan in his car seat, I am still too weak.
So we get an apartment and apply for unemployment and pray he gets a job.
I pick up knitting and crochet with hopes to learn to make those cute flower headbands everyone wears in the winter to sell to have some income from me. (I did learn, and they are adorable!) The only thing I learn from this is that lots of people do this!
Again, Julie mentions Arbonne, and I am still in a delimma because of Maleleuca. I find out some of their products contain Sucrolose/Splenda.
Can I just say easiest decision in my life? I no longer want to sell it at all, not even the cleaning products, and personally, now I don't even want to buy from them. I am allergic to Splenda, not to mention that it is a neurotoxin. No wonder it made me so darn sick! I am offended and ashamed of their company and a little horrified that they consider themselves a "health and wellness" company.
So what I learned there, is NEVER be a blind consumer, ALWAYS read the label and RESEARCH what you don't know and that I could never sell something I don't 100 approve of.
So, Since a company that said they were good and were so darn evil, I turned to Arbonne and began again to research their products and now I am selling them! I think enough said there. I love Arbonne, and I finally got the courage to jump in to selling it too and the more I read about it, the happier I am. from all of this I learned that I not only had to have passion and believe in the product, but I also had to have need, and here was my life, falling apart, and providing me with need.
As I was telling my husband the other day, you may think they are expensive to begin with, but once you've used their products, you are willing to spend more. The more products that I try the more that I believe it!
I Love ARBONNE International, and I love working with a company I know I can trust, a company that has integrity. Pure, Safe, Beneficial.
So decisions, decisions. As soon as I made this decision, I have been having so much fun! The phone calls, talking with people, researching the products, setting goals, ordering business cards(I feel pretty cool just from that!) And all from my home where I can take care of my son, and see my husband the random times he is home during the day.
I decided to do this because I don't want another few months like these last. If my husband loses his job, I want income to still be coming in, and for the money to not be the governments! I want to look toward a debt-free future instead of expecting to walk away from school over 100,000 dollars in debt. I want a job that I will never get fired from unless I quit! I want to have fun with what I do, and I want to Love it!! How rockin is that!?!
About a year ago my husband and I decided we needed to find some type of employment that could work with our busy school schedules. While I was at work one day a guy came in talking about Prepaid Legal. Being polite, I took his DVD and watched it. My husband and I went to a PPL meeting and signed up. We did nothing with it. Jeff wanted me to do it, and I didn't want to do it alone.... So nothing happened. From this I learned that I have to not only believe in the product, but have passion for it as well.
I have been using Arbonne Internationals skin care products for years now. After years previous to that I had tried may different lotions and things to help my severely dry skin. I finally realized if I was going to get the results I wanted, I had to use a pricier lotion. I tried a few different ones, and some that even gave me rashes with their 30$ price tags. That's when I found Arbonne, a friend of mine started selling it as an independent consultant and I went to a party she was hosting. I fell in love. Finally, I found a lotion that continued worked for longer than a week. Four years later, I am still using it, and my belief in it is revitalized all the time. I have a fun story about being pregnant and using Arbonne, but that just may be for a different post. :-P
Well the amazing woman that I go through to buy my Arbonne products kept telling me that I would be great at selling Arbonne. I just shrugged it off, figuring there was no way that I could be successful "selling lipstick." She kept bugging me about it for a few years, and when I say bugging, she really just kept telling me how much she would love me on her team but that she understood that now maybe wasn't the right time for me. She would send me training calls, and all this material about Arbonne and I kept trying more product. I really love everything I have tried, their products really are amazing.
So here is where I get in to the honest truth. I was afraid to sell Arbonne because I really liked it and I didn't want to fail at something i believed so much in. So, for about a year i kept pushing her aside.
In my fear, I decided to try something I thought would be easier for some reason, probably because it's so big around here, and I knew my trainer would be in town (Julie lives in AZ). So one night my friend signed me up for Maleleuca. Its a company that's big thing is that they are kid-safe and eco-friendly and healthier alternatives to store brands. Well their skin care didn't work for me, but I liked their detergent and cleaning products, so I said I would try. For a few months (actually until really recently) I fought inside myself because I honestly knew I didn't like their skin care line. I had looked on a cosmetic safety website and they had scored higher (higher is bad/dangerous) than Johnson and Johnson, and anyone who is even the slightest bit hippie, knows their products have a lot of dangerous chemicals and irritants. For example, instead of taking out the harmful chemicals that burned babies eyes, they put a numbing chemical into the shampoo and body wash so that they wouldn't feel the chemicals burning their eyes instead. Anyways, pretty crazy huh? Well Maleleuca scored worse than THAT money hungry/poor quality product. So, being glad I wasn't a naive consumer, I really didn't like their skin care line and didn't know what to do. How do I sell just cleaning supplies from a company that does more? I really felt like I have a responsibility for these people, and if they used the skin care products I would have felt like scum. SO, I didn't do Maleleuca, and my husband kept bugging me about it, and I just kept telling him I couldn't sell products I don't like for a company I don't respect. SO I learned that I had to do something that I will always believe in and trust as well as have passion for!
SO here we come to the last few months at my house. I was 8/9 months pregnant and my husband and I start looking for a house. Good thing too, because our landlord announces his engagement and lets us know he wants us out by October (this was June/Julyish). So thinking we had a few months, we looked at houses bid on a few and finally found one we really liked, so we moved forward. I was planning a home-birth and my landlord knew this. The first week in August when we were talking one day, he mentions he will need to move forward the date to the end of the month around the 25th of August instead of October. I was due August 9th. August 11th I ran into him and he tells me he is leaving TOMORROW to get his fiance's things and they would be back Monday the 15th. I am not a naive girl, it's his soon to be wife, she and he will want her to move in to the HOUSE, not just the back bedroom until we can get our things out. So overdue, I spend all weekend packing, Monday we wake up early and take 5 trips to a storage unit at my husbands work. Our truck breaks down after hauling the trailer. We come home after the last load for the day to hey, they are here! Not even completely packed up, they start moving boxes in. Jeff and I decide to go stay at my moms for the night, because it is too crazy around the house so we grab some things and leave. This is where we really begin to realize that we will not get our home birth.
Wednesday we come back to a decorated house and our things in a room in the basement. Classy. So we spend the day moving out, and get the things we need to go to my moms for the week in hopes to have the baby. That week I proceeded to try everything to have the baby, Castor oil, black/blue cohosh, walks, sex, you name it, we tried it. No baby, so finally Saturday I go into labor, Sunday I continue to have contractions and they get more and more painful. By Sunday night I was in so much pain, Monday morning we arrive at the hospital and after 48.5 hrs of labor, Nathan has made us a family. I hemmorhaged really badly and was in the hospital for a few days with Nathan. Jeff in the mean time has started school that Monday that I gave birth and was going to classes and working while trying to find somewhere for us to stay while we tried to finish paperwork for the house. His boss lets us stay in a 5th-wheel out back of his work. (jeff worked at a OK Trailers, a camper trailer dealer as a technician). So we check out of the hospital and I hang out at a friends while family comes and cleans and readies the trailer for a newborn baby.
Nathan is 3 days old, and we move in to a 5th wheel. I am on vitamins and things and can't do almost anything for myself as I was still very weak. I saw Jeff when he left for class at 7 am and he came home at 10:30 pm from classes. So we were living the life! Well ahng-ups in the paperwork and a month later we still hadn't closed on the house. I gave jeff 1 week to get me out of the 5th wheel. we were freezing out butts off! and then they tell us in 2 weeks we should be closed, so we decide to stick it out.
That next Monday, OK Trailers burns to the ground and Jeff's work guarantees him a job still. We have to move out of the trailer.
We spend a week in the basement of a ward members we met that day.
By the end of the week they lay Jeff off and we lose the house. I still can't carry Nathan in his car seat, I am still too weak.
So we get an apartment and apply for unemployment and pray he gets a job.
I pick up knitting and crochet with hopes to learn to make those cute flower headbands everyone wears in the winter to sell to have some income from me. (I did learn, and they are adorable!) The only thing I learn from this is that lots of people do this!
Again, Julie mentions Arbonne, and I am still in a delimma because of Maleleuca. I find out some of their products contain Sucrolose/Splenda.
Can I just say easiest decision in my life? I no longer want to sell it at all, not even the cleaning products, and personally, now I don't even want to buy from them. I am allergic to Splenda, not to mention that it is a neurotoxin. No wonder it made me so darn sick! I am offended and ashamed of their company and a little horrified that they consider themselves a "health and wellness" company.
So what I learned there, is NEVER be a blind consumer, ALWAYS read the label and RESEARCH what you don't know and that I could never sell something I don't 100 approve of.
So, Since a company that said they were good and were so darn evil, I turned to Arbonne and began again to research their products and now I am selling them! I think enough said there. I love Arbonne, and I finally got the courage to jump in to selling it too and the more I read about it, the happier I am. from all of this I learned that I not only had to have passion and believe in the product, but I also had to have need, and here was my life, falling apart, and providing me with need.
As I was telling my husband the other day, you may think they are expensive to begin with, but once you've used their products, you are willing to spend more. The more products that I try the more that I believe it!
I Love ARBONNE International, and I love working with a company I know I can trust, a company that has integrity. Pure, Safe, Beneficial.
So decisions, decisions. As soon as I made this decision, I have been having so much fun! The phone calls, talking with people, researching the products, setting goals, ordering business cards(I feel pretty cool just from that!) And all from my home where I can take care of my son, and see my husband the random times he is home during the day.
I decided to do this because I don't want another few months like these last. If my husband loses his job, I want income to still be coming in, and for the money to not be the governments! I want to look toward a debt-free future instead of expecting to walk away from school over 100,000 dollars in debt. I want a job that I will never get fired from unless I quit! I want to have fun with what I do, and I want to Love it!! How rockin is that!?!
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