Saturday morning I woke up to having lost my mucus plug, nothing happend though and I had my first "last meal" before what I hoped to be labor sooon. Jeff gave me a blessing around 2 pm. and at 2:30 I began having very gentle contractions just like many times previously. Around 5, Jeff and I jumped in the car and went shooting with my mom and Hal and the kids. Nathan had definitely moved a lot lower but other than having the contractions, nothing too exciting was happening! After coming home I had my second, "Last meal" and Jeff and I went for a walk. Not a mile down the road the contractions became much harder and I had to pause in my stride for each one. The contractions were only about 4 minutes apart and by the last mile stretch I was hanging on Jeff through each one. I didn't even want to stand, they were that much more difficult.We got home and my contractions were about 2 minutes apart and I spent a few hours rocking my hips and siting on the birth ball with my mom and Kenzie timing. They stayed strong but started spacing out. We went to bed and I spent the night waking up every 7 minutes for a contraction. I didn't sleep very well to say the least, but at least I slept!
Sunday morning the contractions were still pretty easy to get through and I walked around and helped make breakfast, pausing for each surge. By now I was on my fourth *last meal* (I thought I was only supposed to get one!). I kept waiting for all the signposts of progression and none were coming, I still felt good yet it had been hours! Sunday afternoon things got more difficult again and my contractions were about 2 minutes apart. I got in the tub many times trying to relax.
I had been having painful contractions since around 7 the night before! The contractions did start getting worse here and I was really having trouble getting through each one. I kept forgetting to breathe deep into my abdomen, I started shaking during the contractions but was able to relax between still.. I will be honest though, I was freaking out inside. I had been in labor over 24 hours and I wasn't progressing well. I spent a lot of Sunday evening and night crying. Jeff probably gave me a blessing every few hours... I was afraid for Nathan, and for mad at myself. I just kept thinking that maybe I wasn't capable of doing this. Everyone kept telling me to relax and I had been trying to hard to think positive and relax and it hadn't helped! By now I was just afraid and mad. In every blessing I had been told I would have Nathan "soon", i'll admit I was really started to get upset when people said that word. Soon wasn't "soon" enough I started to say to myself. It's okay, you can say it, I was pretty faithless about then and just mad and crying. I couldn't even relax in between contractions anymore and I was shaking constantly.
After I was checked in I was only dilated to a 5! All those hours of tears and contractions and I was only a 5! Goodness!! Luckily I wasn't too attached to that number. My midwife, Susan Binegar was wonderful. She came in, reminded me my goals and never once offered me drugs. I love her <3. I seriously just needed someone to believe in me and stop looking at me like they were so scared! I got into the tub and relaxed, jeff stayed by my side and provided counter pressure with almost every contraction! I was relaxed and was pretty much asleep. The water was so warm and with Jeff there and people that believed in me, I could finally rest. Susan and my wonderful nurse Jeanette would come in every so often and check on me and Nathan. I think I broke a doppler when she tried to get his HR with me in the tub! 3 hours later I climbed out and they checked me again, I was an 8!
The crazy things, is every time she checked me she said that my water bag was bulging a ton and that she was really surprised it hadn't broken! She explained to me that the reason my contractions were so painful was probably because of the pressure from the water bag and that if she broke it, I might feel a lot better, and since I was dilated so much, it could really just end this much much sooner.
I was terrified at this prospect. Susan told me that things would get much more difficult and that I would feel like I was going to die but that I would get through it, every woman can and does. I knew this already, but I was terrified. I had already reached that point and if my contractions were going to get worse, I didn't think I could handle it. My mom and Kenzie came back and I was back in the tub, hoping it would help me more like it had. It was nice, but I was having trouble coping with the pain again. Around this time is where I adopted the Mantra "Just this one." I realized that as I said that to myself the contraction would go from excruciating to easy in just that one thought along with realizing I was breathing wrong and correcting it.
My mom came in to talk to me and told me that Susan really thought I should let her break my water and that she thought it was a good idea. I was exhausted and I needed to get this over with and doing that might help. I was wondering what Jeff though when he walked in to the room with the instrument they would break my water with saying "Look Sara, this is what they're going to break your water with!" So there was my answer, I was out-voted. I climbed out of the water and after 10 minutes of tears finally nodded the approval and they broke my water.
Sweet Relief! I did indeed feel much better and the contractions were MUCH easier to get through after that! I was mad at myself for waiting so long darn it!!! Anyways, besides feeling relief, I immediately felt different. I felt my body gearing up for pushing and knew I was transitioning. At one point I remember saying out loud that "I can't do this" and everyone telling me, "But you can, you're doing this right now Sara!" and Susan in the background saying "Alright, that means we're almost ready, someone go tell the nurse we're going to have a baby soon!" That made me laugh. I knew the sign posts as well, and I had been thinking that very same thing!! Again, relief, I knew this would be over soon. After about 30 minutes I began feeling little urges to push with the contraction and I felt Nathan moving down. That was the weirdest feeling and a bit scary! I was really doing this!
My contractions were never right on top of each other, and I don't think during this stage they were ever closer than 5 minutes apart even while I pushed. I pushed for about 2 hours with about 5 minutes breaks in between contractions. I needed every second I got, I was completely exhausted. My family told me after that I just looked like I was barely pushing although I was giving it everything I had. I pushed for probably almost an hour before they even said they could see his head. Everyone kept shouting that he was almost here, just one more big push. They let me reach down and feel his head and I was mad! There was only about a quarter size area of skin I could feel! They had gotten my hopes up! A laboring woman doesn't enjoy being lied to haha. That kind of saddaned me, but I knew I had to keep working. The most painful part for me was pushing out his head. I could feel his little nose and everything and it wasn't smooth and hurt! The "ring of fire" the readings and my class talked about was VERY real for me, and hurt so much! They kept telling me to push through it so I tried, and I think that's why I tore. In everything I had read, you are supposed to pause here and let your perineum stretch, that's why you feel that "ring of fire." Anyways, his head was out and they told me to pause so Jeff could get in to position to catch Nathan. He did and I pushed again, he was stuck a little and Susan just put her hand on him and he popped right out! He was here! My beautiful baby was finally here. To use my exact words, "I can't believe I just did that!" Nathan had a short umbilical cord, something my mom says she always had with us kids, so he couldn't quite reach my chest. They were fussing over him since he hadn't come out wailing. I knew he was fine, I could feel it. They kept telling Jeff to Make him MAD! Finally I reached up and began stroking up on his spine with my fingers like we were told in class and he arched his back and let out his first cry I was aware of! They waited a few minutes and Jeff got to decide when to cut my cord.
The ONLY bad things I remember were that everyone was so crowded around me while I was trying to soak in my wonderful new baby boys face and every tiny little detail, and also this,
When I was waiting to start feeling the contractions to birth the placenta Susan pulled on my cord and it HURT! She was pretty impatient about it and just wanted it out, She was worried I would hemorrhage, but honestly, Pulling on my cord could cause that! SO I thought it was kind of dumb and lo and behold I did hemmorhage. For some reason they were so worried about it taking a few minutes to come out because of my long labor, but pulling my cord was kind of silly. SO maybe if you don't have a 48 hour labor, they won't happen to you because they won't be so worried and pull on your cord! But I was really grateful that they didn't do a transfusion even though I lost over a liter and a half of blood. which is almost twice an average c-section. Pretty crazy!
One of the many other amazingly wonderful things she did though is perineal message, which is to help me stretch so tearing is less likely and they won't have to do an epesiotomy(which to me is kind of a sign of an impatient doc, or someone who isn't willing to do the warm rags and perineal message!)
So as far as support and the birth she was awesome, the only thing was the cord, and I can't ever know if that is what caused my hemmorhage or if it was just my long labor!
They put me on IV's and they had jeff try to help me to the bathroom and I passed out and threw up all over a few people. Good times, I am just grateful I don't remember it, I only remember waking up to the horrible smelling stuff they try to bring you back with. I stayed in bed after that. They didn't trust me anymore :-P
So that's my story!! Sorry it took so long to post, I spent a few months homeless so bear with me!
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